One Day At A Time

2011-02-03T14:39:00.001-08:00

Desertion. Can I think of anything more cowardly than desertion? What defines an adult? What defines a man? Courage. Integrity. Honesty. Desertion? One of these things is not like the others. I suppose it’s easier for some to walk away and leave confusion, leave someone questioning if they even have walked away. It might be easier for those that don’t process their emotions well. Don’t want drama? The answer isn’t to avoid uncomfortable moments. The answer is to have them. And have them maturely with calm voices and strong resolves. Even if the other person gets crazy, what do you think the person’s going to do with desertion? They’re still going to get crazy. They know where you live, work, and play. Think desertion will stop a crazy girl? Communication. That’s what keeps drama low. And saves a lot of heartache and hurt feelings. Desertion is a self-centered decision. It demonstrates a lack of respect for those left behind. And doesn’t leave good references behind.

Good thing I don’t default to crazy. I just default to blogging. Good thing almost no one reads this. And those that do, don’t know you.

2011-01-28T08:49:00.000-08:00

Dating. Every once in a while I wonder what it would be like to live in a culture where matchmaking had not much to do about love and more about family and societal obligations. I wish people would be more forthcoming. Honesty is a valued thing for me. I suppose we’ve been taught to spare people’s feelings at the expense of honesty. But it doesn’t need to be that way. Honesty can remain; its communication and tact that need improvement. If those two things got better, then honesty could stay, with a dose of maturity thrown in for decent measure. I read an article that discussed the stereotype of women always changing their mind. The author came to the conclusion that it wasn’t about changing her mind, it’s about changing her “end game”. The end game is what the result or goal to be accomplished is. For example, a pleasant evening could be an end game. But another end game could be marriage. As the end game changes, what a woman (or a man) wants at the end of the road changes. Another way to phrase it is the end game is where the road ends. Is it a long trip or a short trip and what is the purpose of the trip? If my destination is a nice evening with good conversation, I might be less picky about my travel companion. However if my destination is marriage with children, I might not pick the same type of companion. As the goal changes so does my thoughts and subsequent behaviors. If I can recognize this of myself, my maturity level dictates that I can recognize it in others and especially those that are looking at me as a possible travel companion. Someone I might think would be great to switch off driving with might not like my taste in music. Or maybe I talk too much/ too little? Maybe my conversation bores him but he’s being a sport. However if I don’t know he’s just being a sport, how am I supposed to make an informed decision? Or maybe he’s still making up his mind as to whether I’m a long trip companion or a short trip buddy. Either way COMMUNICATE. It keeps us on the same page and keeps anyone from getting too hurt. I appreciate people who keep the horse in front of the cart, and know what they want before they let their mouth write checks they have no intention of honoring but you need to say something! Otherwise I'm sitting there jumping to my own conclusions like a PI. Mean what you say please and I’ll do the courtesy to emulate what I want in a partner.

Side note. How hard is it to date someone when their brother doesn’t like you? I have no idea why he doesn’t like me. I tried being friendly but I must have rubbed him the wrong way. I’m not being given any opportunities to be around him now so I can’t fix the situation. Nor does it seem the boy is fixing it for me. I’m in a box and it’s only keeping the relationship from moving forward. If anything it’s stalled. And soon it’ll start rolling back downhill, as soon as the E-Brake gives way. I can hear it groaning, wanting to let go. At least it helps explain why he’s been rather standoffish these past couple of weeks. He doesn’t like drama so he’s avoiding it. Kid needs some maturity. … and I just noticed that I’ve been referring to him as “boy” instead of “man”. I’ll need to think about what this illustrates to me.

2011-01-28T07:46:00.000-08:00

My eyes are pretty close to normal now. Slightly drier but each day it's better and better. The computer isn't bothering me and my mantra is "blink blink blink" since I tend to have a staring contest with what I'm reading. I was given permission to wear eye makeup at my one week follow up and I'm at 20/20 still. At my one month follow up they should be testing my vision more seriously. They say the steriod and antibiotics take about two weeks to completely leave my eye so my vision should get better and better as they disappear from the situation. The red spots are almost completely gone too.

BEST DECISION EVER! The only thing I have left to figure out is how to play outdoor soccer when I'm supposed to wear sunglasses 24/7 outside for the next 6 months. I guess I'll cross that bridge in the next week. I'm allowed to since it's doctor's orders but it'll make heading a ball rather risky.

2011-01-19T08:51:00.000-08:00

Still haven't told my mom. Brother and sister-in-law know. My mom has to know something is up but she probably doesn't know what.

Here's a recap of the experience as best as I can recall. I'll edit it if I think of something else. I'll also edit it so it flows better when I get a chance. It's more or less a stream of thought vomit at the moment.

January 7, 2011

Today I had my pre-op appointment for LASIK. Since I had been wearing contacts day in and day out since 2003, the doctor required that I wear my glasses for two weeks so that the cornea can go back to it’s natural shape. This ensures that the readings on my eyes are accurate and I receive the best LASIK results possible. I also paid the surgeon fee ($2500) today so it’s no going back now. They dilated my eyes. It lasted through Sunday. That’s two full days and change with my eyes all cracked out. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to the bar that night… haha. The lights hurt so much but whatever. Dougie was in town and I HAD to see him! The drive home was rough. The lights with my eyes and it being late at night… lets just say I had the closest call to hitting a parked car EVER and I didn’t even get an adrenaline dump. That’s how over caring about it I was. Crazy right?

January 10, 2011

It’s 9pm and I remembered that I need to fill my Rx!!! Oops! Good thing I live downtown and there is a pharmacy open until 11pm. I needed to get the antibiotic drops and the ativan. I start the antibiotic drops technically this morning (I guess tonight for me) 1 drop three times a day for the two days prior to surgery and another drop the morning of surgery. The Ativan is for while I have surgery. It’s supposed to keep me from freaking out.

January 11, 2011

Scared about tomorrow. I know I’m probably psyching myself out more than it’s actually scary but since when was scared a rational emotion. Scared is a survival response and nothing more. B isn’t helping… he told me to get over it already. Like a big ol’ teddy bear that kid is. It’s the thing I both like and dislike about him depending upon the situation. This situation – dislike it.

January 12, 2011

Kylie brought me coffee and a muffin because she loves me. I have my antibiotics and my Ativan with me as requested. I take one Ativan upon payment of the final portion ($1300) at 10:50am and await my turn and for it to kick in. I’m really glad Kylie took me. She’s so good at keeping my mind off the procedure. I’m trying to just not think about it. Avoidance is healthy right? Right. It’s my turn at about 11:30. I am taken to a staging room where the nurse preps my face, puts a hair cover on and shoe covers. She then puts in a couple sets of numbing drops. My eyes will be completely numb, not the lids, just the eye balls themselves. It’s a weird sensation. It feels kind of sticky from the drops. I am left there for just a couple minutes before Dr Reed comes into the room from the surgery room. He puts more drops in my eyes and pushes on them with a tool to see if they are numb. He ensures that he’s going to make sure I’m very numb before he does anything to me. I love his bedside manner. I was starting to freak out a little but talking with him puts me back to okay. He leads me to the room where a nurse gets me situated on the chair and she lines me up properly under the laser and then swings me back out until they are ready to get started. Dr Reed tests the laser at this point and lets me hear what it will sound like. It sounds like when you walk under power lines, a white noise buzzing sort of sound. Dr Reed swings me back into position. He pushed on my eyes again to make sure I am numb. He must have pushed really hard (and in multiple places too) because with each press I saw a kaleidoscope of colors ripple out like a pool from the point of contact. It was trippy. He tapes my upper eye lashes up and then inserts a plastic half moon shaped lid retainer between my upper lid and eye. I can’t feel this at all on my eye and I am staring at a red light above me. He then takes a ring shaped item that is a suction cup which hold my eye still and places it onto my eye. This is the only part that is vaguely uncomfortable. It’s not painful at all but you do feel pressure. The uncomfortable feeling is similar to a roller coaster that has G Force that is too much for you. Makes you feel slightly queasy because it’s exerting pressure on your eye. As he’s placing it he asked me to tell him when the light above me starts to dim/disappear. Before he could even finish his sentence it’s gone and I’m like “it’s gone! It’s gone!”. He replied, “oh! You have really low eye pressure. It’s a good thing but wow!” so I have some nice little hickey marks on right eye (the first one he did). I was quicker on the left eye so I didn’t end up with a hickey as pronounced. The hickeys will go away in a couple weeks. (I’m writing this on Jan 19 and they are already fading out). The hickeys look like blood spots on the white of my eye. Freaks some people out as they assume it’s a cut or actually from the LASIK itself. Some people can’t wrap their head around a hickey on the eye. They’re just bruises. After that is in place he cuts the flap and moves it out of the way of the laser. When the flap flips back the light goes blurry but you can still see it. They then test the thickness of the cornea again to make sure it’s adequate for the laser.

I started to breathe quickly on the first one and I noticed and slowed myself down. I was also moving my feet/legs a lot of the table. Almost trying to claw my way up into the fetal position. The nurse had to touch my knee to bring my attention to it. When Dr Reed called me that night to see how I was, he mentioned that he had no idea I was moving around and that it means I did a really good job of keeping my fidgeting localized and not interfering. Like subconsciously I knew not to disturb the work! The laser itself was 23 seconds on my right eye and 25 seconds on my left eye. The eye that wasn’t being worked was covered and while working I was told to stare at the red light. After the laser does it’s thing, the flap is moved back into place, and he removes everything he put on, in reverse order and that eye is done!

After he was done I was taken into the next room where I sat for a moment and got my bearings. The nurse went over the drops and schedule with me as well as administered the first set of drops. Dr Reed then looked at my eyes to make sure the flap went back into place nicely. They put an eye shield on me and give me a pair of sunglasses to put over them. I am told to wear 100% UV blocking sunglasses for the first 6 months at least because UV light can deteriorate the work they just did. I was walking out the door at 12pm.

For the day of surgery I am to put drops in my eyes as follows: antibiotics – every 4 hours, steroids (it’s a milky drop) – every hour, non-preserved tears – every two hours. If I’m sleeping I don’t have to wake up to do drops. The first day post surgery I do the antibiotics and steroids three times a day, tears are every two hours or as needed with no more often than once an hour. I do the same for the following day and then it drops to twice a day for antibiotics and steroids until Wednesday Jan 19 where I am to only do tears.

The Ativan did nothing for me. I wasn’t even sleepy afterwards. Kylie and I went to the art store that was around the corner. I looked awesome in my eye shield and sunglasses. Then she drove to Relish in El Dorado Hills. My eyes started to feel uncomfortable during the drive out there but I still wasn’t tired. I held my eyes closed for the drive (about 40 mins) and while we awaited our meals at the restaurant. They didn’t hurt. Looking at the world was a little uncomfortable. My eyes were super lubricated and they’re trying to sort everything out. Kylie then took me home and we watched some tv. She left at about 4pm. I watched some more tv and fell asleep sitting up on the couch out of boredom. For dinner I went to pyramid with B.Andy, AH, and PL. I didn’t wear my shield and everything was good. I was supposed to wear my shield for 18 hours post surgery. My eyes weren’t bothering my and I had no desire to touch or rub so I wasn’t worried about it. When I got home I put my shield on for bed. At some point during the night I pulled the shield off. I don’t think I did so to get my eyes. The shield fits like a rubber band that isn’t too tight but just tight enough that after a while it leaves a mark so it becomes uncomfortable while sleeping. (I pull it off three nights in a row but each time I wake up shortly after and put it back on)

January 13, 2011

Post Op appointment at 9:10AM. I’m seeing 20/20. He gives me the OK to go back to doing everything. I can work out etc. Just no saunas or snow/water activities. I can shower and all that stuff I just can’t touch my eyes. So if I get soap in my eye it’s going to burn but I have to leave it be. He said my vision will be better on some days than others but it’s a normal part of the healing process.

My eyes get itchy/burny sometimes at the corners by my nose. I’m being told that this is a symptom of dryness which doesn’t surprise me since I don’t put tears in my eyes as often as I’m allowed to. The dr said it wont affect my healing at all, just my level of comfort while they heal. I don’t have glare or halos but I do see mild starburst which I think are pretty and I want them to stay!

January 18, 2011

I started work again. The fluorescent lights are a pain. I can see them flickering but they don’t hurt. Light isn’t bothering me thankfully. The computer feels way too clear and I keep wanting to back up from it since it’s so intense. It’s pretty crazy. Good crazy.

I have my one week follow up on January 20 after work. At this point I should get the all clear to wear makeup again. I tossed everything and bought new to reduce the chance of a bacterial infection.

2011-01-03T14:46:00.000-08:00

I'm going to keep a running list of my "favorite things". These are items where in their category there are many choices and I've come to love a specific brand or model. While everyone has different tendencies and might have a different favorite, maybe my favorite things and why they are can help someone who has to find their own favorite.

Almost forgot about my glasses! Okay here are the details: I received my glasses in 2001. My mom bought them for me and they are Ralph Lauren Polo Classic RL673 K9H 135mm. I wanted to write that somewhere for prosperity because they are the best frames I have ever had. The shape of the frame is the best I've come across for my face shape as well as their durability. I've really ran these through and they still keep on going. I'll add a photo tonight.

2011-01-03T14:25:00.000-08:00

I dried my hair instead of letting it do what it wants today. Nothing too demanding, simply flipped my head upside down and pointed the dryer at it. But I look more polished when I do that. I'm also wearing a suit dress and boots. And of course I'm wearing my glasses. I forgot how cute I look in my glasses if I put a little mascara on. Suffice to say I look like an adult today and not like a child. I don't look like "the intern" as I have been affectionately titled due to my laid back attire. We'll see how long this "getting ready to greet the day" thing lasts. Can't be too long before I fall back into sleeping in.

Side note: anyone looking for an interview worthy simple dress that can be paired with almost any color blazer for a put together look that isn't difficult.

I mailed cookies to BG. 6 english toffee and chocolate chip cookies which Kylie and I made yesterday. Cost 13 bucks to mail 6 cookies. $2.17 per cookie. I miss the brat. Least I could do. Most expensive cookies ever.

I saw Tangled. Makes me want to grow my hair as long as I can. Only problem is, I'd have to actually do my hair everyday with it that long so I don't look like a mess. Do I really want that responsibility??? What if I permed it??? I want a perm right now quite badly. Not an 80's perm. Just a wave. Like this picture I found on the net:
Via: Sedu Hairstyles
or at most like this one:

While I realize that the top one was probably done with a hot tool and the second one is natural, it's my grass is greener thing.

2010-12-29T09:55:00.000-08:00

I've had my eye on balance boards for a couple years. There are many makers on the market - vew-do boards, indo boards, holoholo boards, goof boards and more. They are challenging but a real pay off in the fun while getting fit angle. I had contemplated buying a BOSU balance trainer but it's more limited in use. I can always take the board part and balance it on one of the cheap inflated cushions (or a half inflated ball) and I'd have the workout of the BOSU ball. The downside with these balance boards is the cost. They are expensive to buy. Thankfully there are about a million do it yourself's on the internet. The bf said he'd help, as i'll need someone who has and is skilled in the use of a saw, etc. I'm more than a little excited. I do need to figure out how to set one up so it's more like the Holoholo board since the roller can lock into the board parallel for the side to side motion (versus the front to back motion). It makes the board more versatile. It appears the rails on the bottom are notched so the pipe fits in nicely and then there is a screw on each side which gently holds the pipe against the board. This allows the pipe to still move but limits its movement. ideas are flowin'...

2010-12-29T08:56:00.000-08:00

Last year two of my co-workers underwent LASIK surgery at Griffin & Reed in Sacramento. I had contemplated LASIK for a while. Something that I kept in the back of my brain as something I wanted to do eventually. I wanted to wait until I was sure my eyes had settled (they haven't changed in years now) and I wanted to do it before I had children so that money isn't a huge factor nor is the downtime since I'll be drugged up. I'm also not allowed to experience any huge hormonal changes nor immune system adjustments if I can avoid it. So no pregnancy, vitamin c, or birth control pill adjustments or the healing of my eyes are at stake.

The eventually has finally come upon me. Open enrollment at work was in October so I went for a free consult to see if I was a candidate and ask all the questions. Since I had been wearing contact lenses day in and day out since Sophomore year of college (Fall of 2002) they did a preliminary reading on my eyes. The numbers were all good. It appears I can have the standard LASIK and won't have to pay the extra for the custom. I will get a secondary reading on 1/7/2011 after being in my glasses since 12/26/2010. This will allow the cornea to go back to its regular shape and allow for a more accurate reading of my eyes. The procedure is going to cost me $3,800. Assuming at the moment that my reading stays within the perameters, I'll have my surgery on 1/12/2011 and will be seeing 20/20 by 1/13/2011.

FYI This procedure is a secret from my family until after. My mom would be beside herself with worry while she can't do anything about it. I'm sparing her the worry and sparing me the drama.

2010-12-29T08:25:00.000-08:00

Day 23 of no shampoo

I did however receive a haircut on 12/20 during which my hair was washed and conditioned. My hair felt really off afterward. Super stripped and very fly-awayish. I now understand why people tend to coat their hair with product every day. Thankfully my hair seemed to jump right back into the CO washing without any backlash. My ponytail still holds the best at the gym without having used shampoo, my bedhead looks way better than it ever did, and my hair hangs in a "heavier" way. It's overall flatter than it would be with shampoo but it's also more defined, less frizzy. Sometimes my waves are completely gone and other times the wave is simply more defined. I think the amount of time I leave my hair in the clip or towel post-shower has an impact on the dried outcome of my hair. On last monday night I did take a quick shower during which I wet my hair. When I got out I took about 1/2 a tablespoon of olive oil and rubbed into the ends of my hair and the residue up the lengths. I then french braided it to sleep on so I wouldnt get oil everywhere. I'm not sure if it did anything but it didn't hurt anything either.

2010-12-23T09:15:00.000-08:00

Christmas is upon us. I checked into my flight that leaves tomorrow morning for home. I pack my bags tonight and set up the cats for the long weekend. The dog is flying with me. She's a good flyer. She doesn't whine or bark on the plane. I need to remember to pack my parents' gifts. They already know what they are getting.

I'm waiting to hear back from a recreational soccer team. The season starts in February. I was told from the orphan list coordinator that they needed players and that they would contact me. Maybe they think they have plenty of time? But if it turns out they don't want me, I won't have enought time to find another team. I really want to play. I have the itch. Indoor is holding me over for the moment but I really need to stretch out my legs.

I got a haircut this week. I'm not satisfied. One side of my hair likes to wave while the other side doesn't. I don't understand why the hairdresser then likes to hack in, I mean, texturize only the side of my head that waves. It excentuates the difference. I look like I have two hairstyles. It's the second time it's happened but he's not the first to do it either. I think it's the lazy cookiecutter haircut. I am contemplating going back to "Holiday" who does a smashing job with hair and color. He's so thorough that I have to block out a whole afternoon though. He's really fun but it becomes an event instead of an errand.

2010-12-17T07:40:00.000-08:00

When I dream, I tend to have intense dreams. I can pick them up where I've left them off, sometimes having the same dream over and over or a new dream with the same set and characters. It's almost like my own mini-series. I don't have "nightmares" anymore. Once in a blue moon I'll have a night terror - the wake up screaming but can't recall why or wake up crying with no idea how it even started. Sometimes I'll even wake up out of a dream kicking and screaming. Once I kicked the wall for real while in my dream I was trying to kick someone. My foot connecting with the wall woke me up. Nightmares of childhood have been replaced by bad dreams of adulthood. I don't wake up afraid to go back to sleep. I don't have to look under my bed. Instead it causes me to doubt my friends. Doubt my loved ones. Second guess people's motives and intentions all because I dreamed something. My subconscious comes out to play and conscious me is left to figure out why I dreamed it. Insecurities I wasn't aware of rear their ugly head. Those are the nightmares of a grown woman.

2010-12-15T09:27:00.000-08:00

Something I've been thinking about:

[Infatuation is fleeting desire -- one set of glands calling to another. It is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about the relationship that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. It is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing him." Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy. Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship that makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's being unfaithful. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your trust and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you better than you were before.]

Ann Landers

2010-12-14T12:49:00.000-08:00

Today is day 8 of no shampoo. I've been finishing out my bottle of Hair One which is similar to a straight conditioner. It has cones in it though. I have had a day where I used just conditioner and didn't notice any difference when compared to when I use Hair One (other than the scent).

Yesterday I woke up late and had to take a quick shower. As a result I didn't get a chance to do my hair routine. I got it wet in the shower but didn't get to cleanse it. If I had been doing my old routine and had to skip a day, my hair would have been up as soon as it started to dry. I can't stand the feeling of the oils touching my forehead and sides of my face. However yesterday was a testament to how this system is really changing how my hair feels. I had my hair down the whole day and didn't feel any different. I've NEVER been able to do that since starting to shampoo my hair every day.

Huge added bonus: my hair stays in a ponytail better when playing sports or at the gym. My ponytail always had a tendency to slip down my head as I jumped around but now it stays perfectly where I put it. I can also take the ponytail out after and I am not left with a crease. I used to always get the "perma-dent". Once the hair was up, it had to stay up. No more!

2010-12-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

Okay two topics for this post. They cover a similar concept so I'll post them together.

No 'Poo Method
I've been constantly intrigued by the "no 'poo" method of maintaining hair. The "no 'poo" concept is based upon the idea that shampoo isn't the best solution for having good hair. It contains harsh detergents that strip your scalp and hair of needed natural oils which then causes your scalp to overproduce oils. It's a vicious cycle. The catch is that in order to break the cycle, most people have to hold out through the awkward phase. This phase consists of greasy hair and a general feeling of ICK! An important point- "no 'poo" doesn't mean "don't clean". It only means no shampoo bottles. There are various methods that fall within this system. Some people will use a baking soda solution. Some will use a Vinegar Rinse (white or cider). Some will use a Chamomile Rinse. Some will use Conditioner Only (this choice is similar to WEN and HAIR ONE). And then there is the extreme which is Water Only. Most people that attempt this experiment seem to go through phases to ease into Water Only. What I can gather as well is that it is imparative that the person actually SCRUB their scalp in the shower. The detergents in shampoo chemically encourage exfoliation so without the detergents, you must do the job manually. This manual exfoliation is what keep you from getting the itchies. There are other treatments to do too that involve oils for deep "washings" and conditioning.

I bought a bottle of Hair One this week and I'm on day two of using it. I'm hoping I can stick it out and use up the bottle. I'll chronicle my results here.

The Oil Cleansing Method
I was turned on to a new way of "washing" my face this last year. It's called the oil cleansing method. The principle is the same as the no 'poo method - washing with soap/detergents dries out the skin and strips the needed natural oils. While it is important to get pollutants and dirt off the skin and out of the pores, you don't want to pull the good oils off either. The answer is to clean with oil. Oil disolves oil. Water and oil do not mix. Since oil disolves oil, if you use extra virgin olive oil, which actually contains antioxidents and vitamins as a wash you're face will feel super clean after and not the least bit oily. There are other oils that you could use as well but the main thing is to use as natural a product as possible. For a deep clean if you mix a drop or two of castor oil with the olive oil it will thoroughly pull oil from your face, to the point of feeling drying. Some people will then go back with a drop of olive oil to moisturize because of how drying it is. Some people do it slightly different but I've found the following works the best for me: put about scant tablespoon of olive oil in my palm with a drop of castor oil, on a dry face use my finger tips to distribute the oil mixture on my skin, massaging it into my skin in a circular motion. Do this for a minute or two. You can't do this part for too long so take your time at first, especially at first and you'll see why. If you start to feel like there are small pieces of sand on your face, in the oil, it isn't sand. It's the stuff clogged inside your pores! The oil pulls the clogs free! Amazing right?! Then take a damp warm wash cloth and gently wipe the oil off your face. Your skin will feel amazing. If at this point it feels a little dry you can dab a little olive oil on your skin like a moisturizer. For some people there might be a day or two of an adjustment where your skin will still be producing too much oil but the adjustment period isn't horrible.

Right now I've been using the oil cleansing method as more of a weekly treatment. Every morning I wash my face with Dove soap in the shower and apply a moisturizer and BP 2% concoction for the day. At night I use a facial cleanser cloth (the disposable things) out of sheer laziness. My skin looks and feels better when I use the oil cleansing method. I really need to stop being lazy.

Oooh iphone how ilove thee

2010-02-10T11:40:00.001-08:00

iphone... You never cease to amaze me.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-02-10T08:52:00.000-08:00

My religion ramblings. This is all just free thought (unedited) and I know it has gaps which I may or may not come back to.

* Caveat: I am Catholic and Conservative/Libertarian. Mother was raised Catholic, Father is not baptized and isn’t big on “showy religion”. I went to a co-ed Private Elementary school and an all-girls 7-12 High school. Both were ran by the Sister’s of Notre Dame. High School religion classes were always heated debates between Catholics vs Christians vs Agnostics with the one proclaimed Atheist serving as mediator to keep bloodshed from becoming a possibility. Half the class would just watch the spectacle. Over the years I have come to a firm conclusion that as I become more educated and a better critical thinker, it becomes harder and harder to openly accept Christianity as a whole without asking lots of questions. And with each question comes more questions. Which I suppose is why it’s called a Faith and not a Fact…

I regularly (more lately than not) go back and forth in my head about the Judeo-Christian faith, debating what is and isn’t, what was put in place for the good of the people at the time versus “handed down by God” and therefore what isn’t very applicable anymore. (Let it be said here and now that I am not personally questioning if there is a Creator/Life Force. I’m on board with the Chi concept.) I also regularly think about the significance of religion and how it works as a governing body for those that either lack a little bit on the critical thinking and for those that need to have the fear of something greater to keep them from giving in to their horrible fantasies. With all the awful people out there that give in to horrific desires can you even imagine how many people would give in more easily if nothing said “if you do abc then you will suffer xyz”. It’s a way of giving consequences to someone who wouldn’t otherwise feel guilt and therefore wouldn’t otherwise think twice about ruining someone else’s life. Some people are the sort that think in such a way that when something isn’t illegal, then it’s okay to do. But that’s not the case. My understanding is that’s what the point of the United States kind of is. The government isn’t supposed to control every aspect of our lives and therefore just because it isn’t written somewhere that a behavior is wrong, doesn’t make it right. Or the just because they say its legal doesn’t make it right either. Think for yourself; don’t let others think for you. Even if it’s a government/religion. Perhaps that’s why I’m okay with being Catholic. My upbringing in Catholicism was one of no pressure, asking questions, and love. I was never told that not believing in Christ was a one way ticket to hell. I really lucked out in this. Especially since the priests and nuns I knew followed this, even if on paper they had to say another thing. The whole Christian thing was presented more in a live a loving life and that’s what matters. Bear suffering courageously, give to others, take responsibility for wrong doing, and don’t be a lazy POS and your life will be better for it. Everyday is new and live life to its fullest. Some of the greatest people I know are those that label themselves as atheist. Some of the worst people I know label themselves as Christian. But I also know great Christians, and complete jerkface atheists. The label doesn’t define the person. The person defines their label. And we all know that it’s almost impossible to get something nowadays with only one ingredient.

Do No Harm.

2010-01-10T20:13:00.000-08:00

My new lens with Travis playing my guitar as the subject.

On my way from DFW to Sacramento

2009-11-20T20:46:00.000-08:00

Flew home for a long weekend. I was getting rather homesick since it was getting to be about a year since I went home. The beach was a must. I miss the beach so much. I didn't think I would but, man, when that sea air hits me it's like I just smelled the greatest thing on the planet. The weather was surprisingly warm. By the time we left, a jacket wasn't necessary. I wanted to bottle the sea air and take it back north with me.

Some young boys were playing with their boards. This is the way childhood should be.

Where the sidewalk ends?

Pirate ship?! It had a zip line. Unfortunately there was a long line of little kids. I don't think they would have appreciated adults holding the line up so no zip line rides this time.

My Uncle let me have the honor of riding his horse in Paramount Ranch. I was glad I didn't have to go a whole week with no riding. It held me over :) We did a little one hour ride in a giant figure eight. I wish I had remembered to bring my point n shoot camera so that I could have taken pictures while riding. We rode through some pretty scenery as well as through a creek deep enough to wet the horses' bellies.

NF drove up for one of the days and stayed the night. We noticed that it felt like we were 12 years old and having a sleepover... because honestly that is what it was. Only she drove herself!

Chrissy

2009-11-01T19:28:00.000-08:00

I started a blog at the beginning of my sophomore year of college. Today, within 2 seconds of rediscovering my entries I deleted them all. Each and every entry fell into one of a few simplistic categories: shallow, undeveloped, and pathetic. Pretty much all thoughts that while therapeutic to write down, they were not for the world to read.

Time to start fresh!

It's been about a year and a half since moving to Northern California.

I live with Dewey

and with Ecko

It was difficult at first being so far away from the majority of my friends and family but I am slowly making a new support network here in Sacramento.

I miss the beach a whole lot, but a great person included me in a trip to San Francisco in October.

I am going to attempt to start a photography project. Perhaps I can get better at that art and find a medium where I can express myself.

Chrissy